


Too Loud

by Yatterqueen



Category: Batgirl (Comics), DCU (Comics), Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-10 00:34:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7823365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatterqueen/pseuds/Yatterqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harper tries to get the party over at Carmilla's to quiet down. Goes about as well as you'd expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Loud

Harper Row and Stephanie Brown are new in the neighborhood, but truthfully, they wouldn’t have moved if they knew how loud their neighbors gets. They can’t really move out now, though, what with the security deposit they just blew on this room.

Usually Steph is over there making as much noise as the rest of them, but the semester is starting and she needs quiet to pretend to study. For the most part, though, she’s fine with the noise.

Harper is not.

In fact, she’s getting up to complain. 

Steph watches her from the top bunk, and says, “You know, I wouldn’t. You know how they get with their card games.”

Harper whips around and points at Steph. “No human being should be playing Speed at a 8 on the  _ Richter Scale. _ ”

Steph shrugs, “I think it’s more of a 7.5, actually.”

Narrowing her eyes, Harper doesn’t even respond to Steph. She just leaves.

<<>>

In Carmilla Black’s apartment, every Friday, she, her sister Lyra, her friend Kate Bishop, and her neighbor Felicia Hardy get together to play Speed, the card game of reflexes. 

With each woman being incredibly quick both physically and mentally, these games often come down to one or two cards and are incredibly intense.

Though all four are relatively quiet compared to an airhorn, the high blood pressure inherent in such a close game makes them get louder than usual. Lyra and Felicia are much quieter, groaning mildly loud in defeat at best, but Carmilla and Kate scream when it’s close.

Which, like was said earlier, is almost always. So, they’re almost always screaming.

There aren’t exactly a lot of neighbors up on this floor -- in fact, prior to the two newbies, it was just Carmilla and Felicia -- so, no one complained and Friday’s went on the way they did.

Tonight, however, is different. Someone knocks are at the door and Carmilla looks over at her sister, friend, and frenemy, asking “who invited someone?” with her eyes. No one confesses, and Lyra, having just beat Kate, goes to answer the door.

She opens it and looks down at the woman in front of her, giving her a quizzical look when Harper accidentally knocks three times on her chest.

“Oh, sorry,” she says, a bit embarrassed.

“Mm. What’s going on? Did you and Stephanie want to come over?”

Harper remembers her righteous anger and points up at Lyra’s face, in between her eyes. “ _ No _ , we don’t want to come over. We want you guys to shut up!”

“Oh.” Lyra looks back to her friends. “Carmilla, you’re being too loud.”

“Tell her too bad,” Carmilla says.

Lyra nods. “She says --”

“I heard her!” Harper yells. “I’m right here!”

“Well… goodbye.”

Before Lyra slams the door in her face, Harper grabs her spandex shorts and pulls her forward, earning a small yelp from the She-Hulk. 

“Oh, no you don’t! Me and Steph are studying --”

“Drop out,” Felicia suggests.

“Stop talking! Just be quiet, all of you!” Harper’s never been so frustrated in her life. These people are impossible to talk to!

Suddenly, it gets cold.

Harper looks up and sees Lyra glaring down at her. “Uh…” she lets the shorts snapback. “Sorry?”

“Remember when you gave me a flying wedgie and I didn’t do anything back?”

Oh no. The Bluebird from Gotham finally finds fear, shivering and stammering out, “... fun times, right?”

“No.”

Harper turns around and tries to run back to her room.

Lyra just outstretches her hand, and grabs a handful of Harper’s red and black panties, pulling her back into the room by them.

<<>>

Steph’s starting to wonder what’s taking Harper so long, so much so that’s her excuse for not studying. While she wasn’t going to anyway, as she’s already get a good grasp of the day one material, she likes pretending that she’s a good student.

“If I go over there, I’m gonna’ spend the whole night playing Speed.”

She rolls over onto her back. “I wonder if Lyra’s still mad about that wedgie Harper gave her. Me and Carmilla have… well, it’s been a back and forth struggle… I’ve won sometimes… it’s like a solid 65-35 thing right now and I’ve been too busy to  _ really  _ get her!”

Realizing she’s defending herself to herself about her proficiency in her wedgie skills is enough for Steph to decide to get Harper back. At least with Harper, they can talk about something, anything else.

She gets up, slips on her bunny slippers, and starts her trek.

“I’m coming, Peaches!”

<<>>

“Look, can you guys let me down now?”

Before Lyra can say no, another knock at the door takes her attention from the game and Felicia gets her last few cards down.

“Ha!” the thief yells. “I got you~”

“Three to two overall tonight, though,” Lyra reminds her. As she gets up to get the door, she swings Harper, who she left in a hanging wedgie by a stray nail near the door. 

“Ow! I said I was sorry!” Harper squeals.

Lyra ignores her and opens the door, looking down to see Stephanie.

“Harper here?” Steph asks.

The She-Hulk nods. “She’s been hanging out here for a while.”

“Oh boy.” Steph calls out, “Peaches!” 

“I said stop calling me that! And get me down from here!”

“What’s it gonna’ take for me to get Harper down, huh?”

“Beat me in a card game?” Carmilla offers. “You lose, you join her.”

Stephanie nods. “Alright. See you tomorrow, Harper.”

“You cannot leave me here!”

“Ugh,  _ fine _ ,” Steph relents, having already made it halfway back. “Let me just get my notes and stuff. Some of us have  _ classes _ .”

And so they wait. It’s a terribly long fifteen minutes for Harper until Steph returns, most of that time with all four women in the room wondering how strong her panties are to withstand a hanging for this long.

“Sorry,” Steph says when she returns. “I fell asleep.”

“You what!?” Harper yells, trying to strangle Stephanie from her uncomfortable perch.

“I have, like, hypersomnia, dude. We talked about this.”

Harper fumes. “Wait. Until. I get. Down. From. Here.”

“Hopefully, you’ll remember who  _ got  _ you down.”

“Hurry up then!” This is not a night Harper is enjoying.

“Yeah, yeah. Carmilla?”

“Game’s all set up,” she says, handing Steph a deck of 21 cards. “No doubles, Jokers in, you know the house rules.”

The blonde bat and the green scorpion get ready to play, each drinking from a water bottle provided by the house (Carmilla’s refrigerator). The game is fast and intense, requiring all cards to be flipped from the draw pile.

Stephanie has two cards left, a six and a seven. She sees Carmilla’s grin, though, and knows she has the last Joker and probably a combo for her other two cards.

This is bad.

Real bad.

Good thing she brought smoke pellets! Stephanie didn’t take a nap, she’s not a hypersomniac, she’s just a really good bullshitter and brought some stuff from her utility belt.

As Carmilla’s dropping her hand, Steph drops a pellet out of her hoodie sleeve, enveloping the room in (harmless) smoke.

From here, she has two options: get Harper and run, or take out the four women, get Harper, and then run. The first one means she can get caught and the second means she can also get caught. 

Given she has more smoke pellets, she takes the second option, hopping onto Carmilla. A minor struggle, an “Ow! Get off of that!,” an uncomfortably loud stretching sounds, and Steph’s given Carmilla another hogtie wedgie, trapping her for the foreseeable future.

She rolls away, and threads her grappling hook to Kate and Felicia’s underwear, sending them rocketing up when she fires it out the window. She closes it before they follow, but the end result is the same, both are trapped in huge hanging wedgies.

The smoke clears when Lyra claps.

Kate yells, “What was that about!?” trying to push her purple boyshorts down and out of her front while Felicia tries to steady her so they stop swinging. 

“Uh… there’s no good explanation, is there?”

“You’re a sore loser!” Carmilla yells, the waistband of her green hi-cut briefs hooked on her head, and her limbs trapped in the legholes. Every movement she makes only makes it worse, and she can't stop trembling in anger. “That’s the only explanation there is!”

“I am not!”

“Are too!”

Felicia sighs really loudly interrupting them, as she tries to shred the grappling hook rope with her claws. Out of all of them, her underwear raised the highest, with the front of her waistband directly under her chest like a harness. “Who cares? Just get me down.”

“In a second,” Lyra says. “Let me deal with out -- ow!”

Harper kicks Lyra in the back of the head a couple more times until the gammamazon gets tired and moves her and the nail up higher, putting her head out of reach. 

“Now,”  _ streeetch! _ “oh for the love of goddess,”

Stephanie used Harper’s distraction to attach the same device that gave her a massive flying wedgie in the first place to her shorts and send her up. 

Lyra flails at Steph, unable to reach her as her shorts dig further thanks to gravity, and her pink panties become more visible as they’re wedged in. Eventually, she just gives up and hangs, fuming. 

Stephanie takes the opportunity to push her to the ceiling, so she can’t grab her at all.

For a moment, the bat stands still and observes her handiwork. She can’t believe she actually  _ won  _ that.

“Now, just to get Harper down…” which is easier said than done given how high she is now. “I need a…”

Fortune’s reverse pretty quickly, it seems, as Felicia did manage to shred through the rope with her claws. She and Kate fall, and though Steph tries another smoke pellet, Kate manages to knock it out of her hand with a well-placed marble.

“Can I apologize?” Steph asks, grinning weakly.

“No,” Felicia states. “Kate.”

“Don’t order me around,” the archer says, but she knows what Felicia means. Free Carmilla.

“I’m… I’m gonna’ run.”

_ Crash! _

“No, you’re not.” That’s Lyra’s voice. 

When Steph put her up against the ceiling, she managed to flip her body up and put her feet against the roofing. Then, by pushing off, she managed to destroy the device under her weight.

“Aw, man. That was my equalizer,” Harper mumbles.

“Nail?” Lyra asks.

Kate shakes her head as Felicia and Carmilla wedgie Steph’s yellow bat panties high up her behind behind her. “Use one of my arrows. They won’t break under the weight, no matter what.”

“Oh, come on! I’ve had enough!” Steph manages in between squeals. Her underwear wasn’t supposed to make her  _ this  _ uncomfortable. “I have to study, you know!”

“You can do that up there,” Lyra points out.

“Oh yeah, all night long~” Carmilla sings, hooking Steph’s underwear over her eyes and pushing her over to Lyra. 

As Lyra gets down Harper so she can put her and Steph on the same arrow, she hears Carmilla starting to sing Lionel Richie’s hit, “All Night Long.” “Carmilla, don’t…”

It’s too late, actually, and Kate even joins in. Felicia looks at Lyra for help, but the green woman just shrugs. There’s no stopping those two, just like there’s no stopping her.

Up, up, Steph and Harper go. At this moment, they’re sure they definitely wouldn’t have moved here.

<<>>

Thirty minutes later,

Lyra’s gotten over it, and let Steph and Harper down from their brutally high hanging wedgies, as long as they promised no more wedgies for the night.

Carmilla busted out another deck of cards, handing them over so Steph and Harper could play with them.

“We on for the movies tomorrow still, Steph?” Carmilla asks, trying to beat Felicia.

“What’re you guys going to see?” Harper asks before Steph can answer. “Not Sausage Party, right?”

“Oh  _ hell  _ no,” both Steph and Carmilla say.

“We’re going to see Star Trek: Beyond,” Steph answers. “You wanna’ come?”

“Sure, why not?” Harper gives an “I’m too cool,” shrug. “I’m not doing anything.”

“I… I know, that’s why I asked. You’re  _ never  _ doing anything, Peaches.”

“Stop calling me that! And I do too do stuff!”

"Like what? Going to school doesn't count."

"C'mere, you!"

Lyra’s eyes twitch in anger when Harper messes up her game with Stephanie by pushing her. Heat could be felt radiating off her body, even, and Harper takes that as her cue.

“Goodnight, everyone,” Harper says, rolling off her friend and over towards the door. She opens it, steps out, pokes her head back in to say, “Carm, see you tomorrow, others, yeah. Goodbye,” and books it.

“I don’t like her,” Lyra mutters. Rare enmity gets to her, but there’s just something about Harper Row. 

Hopefully there’s no, y’know, no team up in the future (hint hint). 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not too familiar with Harper, so I played her more as an exasperated straight man to everybody else's antics. If I ever do write that team-up, I'll have to look into her more. The other five, though, I'm familiar with, so I'm pretty confident. The only thing is with handling a big cast, some people are secondary by necessity.
> 
> Anyway, I've been having a pretty rough week, but I read ShadowCrysis13 story over on DA and I enjoyed it a lot! Boosted my mood a little, hah. So, this is a little bit of a psuedo-sequel to that, and a kind of thank you.


End file.
